Guilt is a feeling of responsibility or remorse for an offense or the state of committing an offense, crime or violation against a person or penal code. Grief is moral suffering or distress over a loss or affliction a cause for sorrow or distress. However I feel neither one of these definitions as stated in the dictionary are completely true. Guilt is also a state of mind that we as humans put on ourselves that we can innately take care of everyone and everything and if we do not we are responsible for the outcomes. Grief is an emotional process that is chemically condoned in our brains when loss is prevalent no matter what type of loss it may be. Grief is our body’s way of preparing us for what emotionally will come during this process of grief. Our brain tries to protect our body from the physical and emotional process as of grief. However, many studies have shown how grief to run parallel with problems of negativity, mood, memory and conceptualization. So where and how does Guilt fit in well here is how in my own personal opinion.
Guilt is the 6th stage of grief and the only stage I feel that some people will forever live in until they give their self permission to not feel guilty. Guilt tricks our brains into staying in environments that are very unhealthy because of the fear of hurting someone else or hurting yourself. Fear drives guilt just as love drives grief in that fear is the worst type of evil that we allow to fester and build up in our lives a perception of our own reality. Fear most always lies in the depths of the unknown that is why guilt keeps so many of us there sometimes our entire life. Guilt can be the destruction of our own thoughts, lives and control our own destruction if we let it. Don’t get me wrong there is points in life that guilt is very true if you are found guilty of committing a crime or responsible for the death of someone or something that guilt is very different than the guilt I am talking about. I am talking about the guilt we put on ourselves when circumstances and people make us feel responsible for something we have no control over and we allow that to continue. I am talking about the guilt that controls our lives and makes us afraid and fearful of the unknown and how life would be so different if we didn’t feel guilty.
So here is my prayer and thoughts for you, the ones who feel guilty for so much of your circumstances that you have been driven to the point of insanity in that your life is limited based on your guilt that is keeping you from the unknown. Give yourself permission to not feel guilty, take back control of the things that your guilt or fear is keeping you from accomplishing. Take back control of your own thoughts, feelings and actions because that is the only thing in this lifetime and universe we have any control over. We do not have control of others decisions, environments and behaviors and we need to give our self permission to let go of that guilt that you are responsible for these things. God gave us free will and we still have the choice to allow this world and others drive us to fear and guilt or we have a choice to let God rule our lives in grace, guidance and forgiveness. Let love continue to help you grieve whatever losses you have experienced in your life but let go of guilt and embrace free will. Don’t allow the guilt to keep you in circumstances that are unhealthy, abusive or out of fear but embrace the unknown and trust that God will guide you and provide you with the grace and peace! Guilt drives us to stay in the past and grief strives us toward the future so which one will you choose future or past? Lastly Guilt is out of fear and Grief is out of love so I encourage you to choose Grief and continue forward towards your future with love.